Hit the hot spots
A friction position may help you have an orgasm during
intercourse. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clitoris is rubbing
directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Or lay on your back with a pillow
underneath your butt. You may even want to try using a vibrator during
intercourse.
Talk the talk
"Men really want direction," Berman says. Let
your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what
feels great or by moaning.
Learn on your own
You can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you
on. "To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate," says
Danielle Cavallucci, a sex coach with sex information company Sexuality Source.
Exercise your
orgasm muscles
"Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want
to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones," sex educator Dorian Solot
says. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from
peeing midstream. Then tone them by clenching when you’re not peeing. Do Kegels
every day, ideally a few times a day. And keep breathing while you squeeze.
Get risky
Research shows that engaging in thrill-seeking behaviors
together (whether it’s rock climbing or just going to see a scary movie)
stimulates dopamine in the brain, which gets your juices flowing.
Delay the pleasure
"The longer the arousal buildup, the bigger the
explosion," Solot says. Get yourself close to orgasm, then slow to a
simmer. Repeat that a few times before you climax.
Focus on breathing
Tantric sex may sound new-agey, but its central
tenet—focused breathing—may boost your pleasure. "You can use your breath
to channel your sexual energy," sex educator Yvonne Fulbright says.
Partners who breathe in tandem may slow the rush to orgasm and create a bigger
buildup, which can intensify pleasure.
Explore erotica
Porn isn’t all about big penises and deep throats. Erotic
movies and books can be tasteful and arousing, and the more aroused you are,
the better your orgasm chances.
Try creative
foreplay
If it takes you longer than your partner to warm up,
Fulbright says, get a head start by e-mailing or texting each other sexy
messages (but don’t get too graphic—e-mail is not necessarily private).
Check your meds
Women are more likely than men to take antidepressants,
which are known to hurt a person’s sex life. If you’re having trouble, talk to
your doctor about your meds.
Get help early
If you’re not orgasmic, advice from a pro may be helpful.
Nerve damage or low testosterone could be the problem. "Your doctor can do
a medical evaluation," Berman says, "or look at relationship
factors."
Relax
In a recent French study of 500-plus women, more than 70%
said work stress compromised their sex drive. A low libido, obviously, lowers
chances of orgasm. So ditch life’s distractions at your bedroom door.
So, make a little effort to have more orgasmic paths towards sex drive , and you'll see how amazing can a sweet and sensual night be.
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